Over last December, I saw many people posting “30 days of thanks” type statuses on their Facebook pages. Most of them started right after Thanksgiving and continued up to Christmas. “That’s a good idea,” I thought. “But I don’t want to just do what everyone else is doing. I should try something different.” So I decided that I would start keeping a journal in which I would record every day for the entire year, something during the day for which I was thankful or which brought my attention to God’s glory. Then I thought “Why only one thing? Why not more?” and the project morphed into writing a steadily greater number of things each day. One thing on the first day of the week, two things on the second day, three things on the third, and so on until I’m recording seven things on the seventh day of the week. “That shouldn’t be too difficult,” I thought.
I was right.
And I was wrong.
I’ve completed my first week and it was definitely different from what I expected. The first few days were easy. After all, I only had to remember one or two things throughout the day. By Wednesday, I was scratching my head. By Saturday, I had to sit and think for a while before I could get all seven without repeating myself from earlier in the week. It wasn’t that I am not abundantly blessed by God, but rather than I wasn’t paying enough attention during the day to notice the little gifts He gave minute by minute. I have to be ever so much more purposeful in my daily actions and thoughts in order to keep up with what I want to do.
And therein lies my problem. Purposefulness. Or rather, a lack thereof. Since I came back from Denton, I really haven’t known what to do with myself. What am I supposed to be doing? What is my task? Why does God have me here and not there? Yes, there is the Awana ministry and tennis team that I’m working with—but I’ve done those for years and am part of them because I can’t imagine not being involved, not because of any particularly strong calling in that area.
Because of this uncertainty, I’ve drifted about, not really committing to anything, not getting too deeply involved. But that kind of life is truly only half a life. I need to fully engage, not just in my thankfulness, but in daily life. Yet I don’t know how. Or where. My prayer is that God will reveal His purpose for me to me so I can follow.
But until then, I’ll count my blessings and keep trudging through this desert. After all, the Fountain of Living Water is with me and I’ll never go thirsty.
Thankful list:
- Fun co-workers while at Horn Creek
- The chance to spend a week in the mountains away from the pressures of daily life and the distractions of computers and the internet
- Clean bathrooms. Especially the fact that I only have to help clean one at home
- A dad who deliberately chooses to seek God and lead his family after Him
- Sleep and rest. A time of renewal and relaxation
- Clean clothes that still smell fresh from laundering
- The chance to spend some time with my dad early in the morning with no distractions
- The Gift of God, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us
- A room of my own to play and to study in without distractions
- Brothers who desire to seek after God even from their youth
- Cold, crisp mornings to walk in
- Hot showers (to warm up after that walk)
- A beautiful day to admire and revel in—given despite my sin
- Discussing and explaining stories with my littlest brother
- The ability to type fast and serve Dad by preparing documents for him
- A job. Even if its not the one I would choose for myself, I’m glad to have source of income again
- Technology! Particularly in the form of my new Kindle
- Ripe apples and the delightful crunch they make
- God-fearing young men in sports who boldly proclaim Christ as their Savior
- Friends and family watching football together
- The mind and ability to decorate our house
- A new purse that fits everything in it easily. Plus some
- A mom who cares enough about my spiritual well-being to challenge my apathy
- Laughter with my family at silly things said around the supper table (Ex: “My tongue should be bulging with muscle. It’s hard to clean your teeth out with braces.”)
- Thick blankets to snuggle under on a cold night
- Glasses and contacts that bring the world into focus so I can see
- A God—THE God—who never stops loving me even when I am a lazy fool and to not truly seek Him with my whole heart
- A car that does all I ever wanted and looks cool (to me)
Huh, I as I typed that list, I realized how frequently “no distractions” featured early on. I think I’ve been distracting myself from the important things—like the study of God’s Word—without even realizing it until those distractions were no longer in place. Something to consider.
I think I’ll have to consciously use this blog as motivation to be more purposeful. After all, it’s easy to write in a journal that no one sees. But everyone can see if I’ve updated this recently or not. J
