Christmas Songs

I like Christmas. And Easter. But it is Christmas now so that is what I’m thinking about. The carols and hymns of Christmas thrill me to my core. The melodies uplift—and the lyrics! O the truth wrapped in a simple Christmas tune. Take one of my favorites What Child is This? that we sang Sonday.

Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,
The cross be borne for me, for you
Hail, hail the Word made flesh
The Babe, the Son of Mary.”

Or God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen which says

Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy!

(Maybe He wasn't born on Christmas day, December 25, but that doesn't really matter does it?  All that matters is that He was born.)

Then there's We Three Kings of which we tend only to sing the first and last verses.  But it's the middle ones that are the best.  Each verse describes the gifts brought by the wise men and what the meaning of it was.  Gold for the King, Frankincense for the Deity, Myrrh for the Sacrifice.

And what about this verse, rarely seen, from O Come All Ye Faithful

God of God, Light of Light,
Lo! he abhors not the Virgin’s womb;
Very God, Begotten not created

Christmas songs are more than Frosty the Snowman and Jingle Bells.  Many of the hymns and carols are rich with theological truths about the God who became man to take away the sins of the world.  Add to that the beauty of the meoldies and you have a marvelous mix.

I wish we would sing Christmas songs all year round. I think we often need the reminder of just what we’ve been given. Christmas reminds us that God came to earth. Easter reminds us of the cost paid for our redemption. I need to recall those awesome facts more than just once a year.

Numbers Paper

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men…” This phrase makes me think not just of the Exodus and how God brought Israel out of Egypt but also of the way God leads His people through the wilderness with the pillars of fire and cloud. Such a thing is hard to miss. God’s power was made clearly visible to all men as He saved Israel from slavery to Egypt. Even forty years after God brought Israel out, the surrounding nations are still talking about the event. I think it is likely that the miraculous way God lead Israel through the wilderness served as a constant reminder of the startling manner in which they had left Egypt. In the same vein, it has been over two thousand years since the greatest example of God’s grace appeared to man—Jesus Christ—and people are still talking about it. On the cross at Calvary where the Son of God paid the price for my sin, the grace of God appeared to all men.

The next phrase in the Titus passage we have been memorizing, “teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,” reminds me of all the laws in Leviticus and Numbers. God’s grace appeared, but He did not leave us with just a terrifying look at His glory. No, He gave more grace and showed His people just how they can live in fellowship with this God who is more powerful than all the gods of Egypt. The laws are not given as a burden, but as a blessing. Other nations had to guess at what their gods wanted of them and hope that they would not get it wrong and be killed for it. Israel had no such problems. God was very clear in detailing the manner whereby they could know Him and remain in favor with Him. Similarly, God did not stop with salvation for us. It was too small a thing to simply save us from sin and make it so one day we can live with Him forever. His grace, the same grace that saves, shows us how we can live with Him now. We have the advantage on the Israelites in that we have the Holy Spirit working in our hearts so that God is teaching us one-on-one how to honor Him in our daily walk. God does not set us adrift with no purpose in how we live our lives. Instead, He takes great pains with us so that, as we are truly His children, we will deny “ungodliness and worldly lusts” and become more like Him with each passing day.

All Israel looked to the day when they would enter the Promised Land. Many lost heart and gave up, trusting to their own small strength and not to the Mighty God who saved them. These never realized their hope. They never saw the rich land “flowing with milk and honey” where they would live in cities they did not build and harvest crops they did not plant because the nations would be driven out before them even as Egypt was destroyed. The children of that first generation, imperfect though they still were, had a better grasp of what they were looking toward. They lived more eagerly in the hope of the fulfillment of promises made to their fathers. Likewise, we live in a time before the ultimate fulfillment of our salvation. We are “looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.” Or we should be. It is the looking to the return of Jesus Christ that gives us hope. The world we live in is not a pretty place. If this world were all there is, there is no point in living. It cannot get better than it is. But with Christ, we can look on this life as a transition, a space of time in which we live ardently for God, knowing that He has prepared more for us. No matter how long the shadows grow, no matter how dark the midnight is, the glorious dawn of His coming is sure. What He has promised will surely come to pass.

One set of laws that God gave to the Israelites was that dealing with the sacrifices. In order to be purified, one must constantly offer sacrifices of blood for the breaking of God’s perfect statutes. It was a costly sacrifice. Only the absolute best animals were accepted. No imperfection could be tolerated. In addition, Israel had to redeem every firstborn with an offering because they rightly belonged to God as He saved them back in Egypt. These sacrifices purified and redeemed Israel, setting them apart as God’s people. Even so, we also have been redeemed and set apart. But it is no mere animal that was offered for us. Rather it was God Himself in the person of Jesus Christ “who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.” The price that was paid for our redemption was the Firstborn over all Creation, the Perfect Lamb of God. The animal sacrifices only served to cover the sin. The sacrifice that was Christ was great enough to take away our sin and endow us with God’s righteousness at the same time. Israel’s daily sanctification cost the life of an animal. Our ultimate sanctification cost the life of God.

What makes everything that God has done, is doing, and will yet do for us even more amazing is revealed in Titus 3:5 “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us…” All through Numbers, we see Israel not following the laws that God set forth for them. We can go further back and see that even when God brought them out of Egypt, it was not because of anything good they had done—they were complainers even then. We too have done nothing to warrant the salvation that God gives. In fact, we have done much that would disqualify us from even dreaming of salvation were our God anyone other than what He is. “But God” is one of the most thrilling phrases anyone can hear. We were lost in darkness when He in His great mercy stepped in. He wrought salvation for all to see, teaches us how we should live daily, gives us hope for the future, and paid for it all Himself without regard for our lack of merit. Israel’s journey from Egypt through the wilderness to the Promised Land mirrors our journey from salvation through sanctification to glorification in many ways but the greatest I think is this: It was nothing we have done, are doing, or will do that brought this glory to pass—it was totally and completely by the grace and mercy of God. Halelujah!

Numbers and Titus

Our most recent assignment was to write a three page, double-spaced paper comparing Numbers to the verses we’ve been memorizing in Titus.  Specifically, to Titus 2:11-3:9.  Yesterday (Saturday) I made some rough preliminary notes.  Looking at them, I wondered if I’d be able to fill the required three pages.

I did.


In fact, I only got through Titus 2:14 when I ran out of space.  Just looking at how God worked in saving Israel and how He works in saving us was amazing.  I did touch briefly on 3:5 in my final paragraph but that was because I just couldn’t leave that out.  I didn’t have space to keep going straight through the passage so I jumped to a favorite part.

Some of the verses I didn’t use, particularly Titus 3:1-3, seem to compare to Israel in Numbers as a “Don’t do what they did” type of thing.  “Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men,” state verses one and two.  I thought then of the rebellions led by Miriam and Aaron and by Korah, Dathan, and Abiram.  Those didn’t turn out to well for the rebels.  Verse three says “For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another” and I think of Israel at Marah, Kibroth Hattaavah (where God sent manna and quail), Kadesh, and Peor.  If ever a people was given everything and still wanted more, it was Israel.

And me.

I’ve been given everything in Christ.  God has “blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ” (Ephesians 1:3) and yet I still wander around complaining because not everything is like I want it to be.  I act like a foolish, petulant child refusing to do the work set out by my loving Father.  I refuse to bend my proud will to any other.  I am lazy, not ready to do good works.  I complain and argue when things don’t go my way.  And I seek after that which does not last.

It is as hopeless for me as it was for Israel.  Many times God told Moses to step aside and let Him blast this disobedient people to oblivion and start all over with Moses.  Each time, Moses reminded God of the promises He’d made to undeserving Israel.  And God set aside His wrath for a time, punishing those who rebelled and then turning right around and speaking to those who remained as if His promises were already fulfilled.  I’m thinking mostly of when Israel refused to go into the land and God essentially said “Fine.  You won’t go in.  But your children who you think are going to be killed, they will.  And now kids, when you enter the land…”  (Look at Numbers 14 and 15:1)

So it was that the “the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”

How’s that for amazing!

More than I ever dreamed possible this semester, I have seen the glory of God.  And I have seen the blackness of my sin.  Some of my sin has seemed like a great crushing load on my shoulders.  Another sin felt like a sinister shadow wrapping itself around my very being.  Yet another, which I only recently became aware of, makes me feel like I’ve been dipped in sticky black goo that clings to me and just feels disgusting.  Before this semester, when I bothered to look at me, I didn’t see much to worry about.  O!  How that has changed.  I don’t like looking at myself because it isn’t a pretty sight.

So let me look elsewhere, to the Light of the World who burns away the shadow.  To the Almighty God who can lift the heaviest burden.  To the Lamb of God whose blood can make the foulest clean.  O friends!  If we could but see the wonder of what God has done for us!  If I could but grasp the smallest fraction of what He has saved me from and saved me for!  Not for mindless drudgery in servitude to a heartless god who does not care for the minions he chose.  No, for joyous service in honor of the God who gave everything so that I might have fellowship with Him.

I hardly know how to express what I feel when I glimpse what God has done.  It’s like the crescendo of a great symphony that you can feel in your very bones.  It’s like the moment when the sun first reaches over the horizon and its rays shoot across the land.  It’s like seeing the myriads of stars filling the dark vault of the heavens.  It’s like being wrapped in a tight embrace from one you love.  It’s like curling up on the couch with a blanket and a book and family all around.  And all this knowing how very unworthy you are for such richness.

I want this to change the way I live.  I want to live fully and freely for God’s glory.  I don’t know yet how it works but I know that He is working in me “both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13)  Pray that I will yield to His leadings and not be prideful and think I know best.

God be with you all!

(I’ll post my Numbers paper tomorrow for your viewing.  I was going to add it to this but the post got rather longer than I originally anticipated.)

Holiness Paper

A very academic-sounding essay attempting to define holiness, describe God's holiness, describe how God makes us holy, and describe our responsibility to be pursue holiness.  I'm going to try to put together a less pompus sounding commentary on the essay at some point.

What is holiness? According to the dictionary, holiness is “the quality or state of being holy; sanctity.” To be holy is, again according to the dictionary, to be “endowed or invested with extreme purity. . .” “Holy” also means to be set apart, particularly as regards being set apart by God or for God. Holiness is therefore being set apart for and by God for purity. Sanctification is the process whereby God makes us holy.

If to be holy is to be set apart, we must know not only what we were set apart for, but also from what we were separated. In the beginning, God created man and man was without sin. But man chose to go his own way and defy God’s commands, thus breaking fellowship with God and bringing sin into the world. Christ came and through His work, that broken fellowship can be restored and we become the purchased possession of God. God then utilizes His right as the owner to set us apart from sin and the world and purify us for Himself to make us a holy people.

Without God’s working to cleanse us from sin and His exchanging of our sin-splattered record with Christ’s perfect one, we would have no ability to approach God. Holiness is an intrinsic part of His nature. God is supremely perfect and pure. Habakkuk 1:13a states “You [God] are of purer eyes than to behold evil, and cannot look on wickedness.” Synonyms listed for holy are words such as “untouchable,” “unassailable,” “sacred,” and “blessed,” all of which evoke a picture of someone or something completely different from us. It is this difference that requires us to be made holy in order to be near God.

God uses many different means to make us holy. Sometimes He uses the hard times to show us how much we need him and how little we can do on our own. Sometimes God uses teaching on His own perfection to bring us to recognize our lack of holiness. But, in the end, our sanctification is all His doing. A recurring phrase in Leviticus 21 and 22 is “I am the LORD who sanctifies them.” This follows God’s listing of qualifications for the priesthood and the things that the priests must and must not do in order to be holy before God. Thus we see that even when we are doing everything that God asks of us to be made holy, it is still God alone who does the actual work of sanctification.

The fact that it is God who does the work does not release us from the necessity of pursuing holiness. Just because our position before God is holy, we should not take advantage of that to sin. In Paul’s words “. . . How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?” (Romans 6:2b). When Christ’s death purchased us, it was for the purpose of purifying us for Himself (Titus 2:14). 2 Peter 1:15-16 takes the command given to Israel in Leviticus and transfers it to us “but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.’” As God’s children, we should strive to be like him, even as a son desires to be like his father. Also, as His possession, we are obligated to do as our purchaser prescribes. It is God’s enabling that allows us to do anything that pleases Him, but we are to follow where He leads and not try to turn back to the old ways from which He parted us.

To be holy is to be set apart. God “. . . chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love” (Ephesians 1:4). His choosing was without regard to our merit (we had none) but not without purpose. We were chosen for holiness. God chose us that we might be made like Him and one day live with Him forever. Christ’s work on the cross gives us the position of holiness before God that—unlike the priests of old—we might “. . . come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). Because of His grace and mercy, God sanctifies us in this life, making us more like Him so that what is true in the spiritual realm can be made known in the physical as well.

Testimony

We were at Selah for our second retreat last weekend.  Our assignment was to share our testimonies in a creative manner.  I went with a poem (surprise) but we had everything from power points, to posters, to dressing up, to rap songs (that was Jean).  I am amazed by the very different paths that God has led each of us on to bring us to the same place.  After we finished sharing testimonies, some of the girls were helping another girl carry all her props back to her room and I could not help but find it an awsome illustration of the verse where we are told to "bear one another's burdens."  The things they were carrying represented her burdens and they were helping to carry them.  :-)

My testimony poem is the hardest thing I've ever tried to write.  It wasn't just the format but also the topic.  How do I communicate what God has done in my life?  From the outside looking in, I have had a near-perfect life.  But God is at work all the same because I'm not perfect.  So it was hard to find the words to craft my testimony.  I hope you'll understand it.

A simple story is mine to tell

Of how my God saved me from hell

Oh!  Listen friends and listen well

His grace has sounded Death’s death knell

A child I was when God’s grace came

Adopted me in, gave me His name

A name to which I’ve oft brought shame

Yet nonetheless He loves me the same

My father it was who told me first

Of the perfect Son and Sin’s dark curse

Of Christ’s life and death and the worst

Sep’ration from God, the Last and the First

In the beginning, Dad told me

Adam sinned, thus so do we

The punishment was death, you see

No matter how small the sin may seem

My debt of sin the cross repaid

And in the tomb the Christ was laid

Til o the third day He was raised

Proof of the power He had claimed

I know not how much I truly grasped

But this I do—God’s love had cast

It’s binding spell o’er me at last

My heart was His, forever clasped

The years have passed—18 or so

In which His faithfulness is shown

He’s guarded my heart and body I know

Without Him, I’ve nothing here to show

My testimony cannot end there

For endless is His love and care

Though trials light have been my share

My heart from His I’ve tried to tear

It’s hard for me to see my sin

Because of the things I’ve never been

Pride and arrogance, they creep in

With the lie, “You’re better than them”

Comfort, security, I did seek

From family, friends, from day to week

Instead of looking to Christ the meek

Inside God’s word I’d barely peek

Building worth on knowledge learned

With pride I was little concerned

Til once again, God’s love it burned

Into my life with grace unearned

Showed me then the black of my pride

And the things in which I often hide

The books, the knowledge, the comfort wide

Pulled me away on Love’s strong tide

A haughty look He says He hates

But comes to him who humbly waits

He alone can fill my plate

In God the King is comfort great

I know I’ll often drift away

From the path He bid me stay

A rough, unwilling lump of clay

Yet He is with me all the way

God plumbed the depths of His supply

From death and sin my heart did buy

He gave His Son—I scarce grasp why

But this I know—‘Twas Him, not I

Steadfast Love

Another thought journal post:

What have I thought of this past week’s lessons?  To be totally honest, I haven’t thought a whole lot about them during the normal course of my day.  Between going home and going to the lake, this has been the least program-focused week so far.  But that does not mean that I’ve been unaffected by what I’ve been learning.

In chapter three of Counsel from the Cross, we are exhorted to be overwhelmed by the steadfast love of God.  Being home let me see how much human love encourages and strengthens me.  How much more then should God’s love?  And yet, allowing me the chance to be home was one way that God showed me His love.  Then, Friday and Saturday, I was at Possum Kingdom Lake with my boss and her family.  There, I was enabled to revel in the beauty of God’s creation.  Add to that the glorious weather this weekend!  I have been acutely aware of God’s magnificent love and the many ways He deigns to show Himself to me.  I know that when I am tired, I am less likely to see His wonders than I am when rested but I hope that I will be enabled to look for His graciousness even through exhaustion.

As I’m writing this, I realize how we’ve seen the exact same thing—God’s love—in our lessons and projects this week too.  God didn’t destroy Adam and Eve and start over.  He actually promised blessing to them!  And despite Abraham’s folly, He made promise after promise of blessing to him.  It’s not as if what I’m seeing is anything new; I’m just seeing a little more of what God has been showing me all along.  Black is my sin, but bright is the light of His grace that burns it away.  His steadfast love isn’t something that He just shows me either.  He started back in the garden and has continued throughout time.  He is “…The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands…” (Ex 3:6b-7a) and will be for all time.

Retreat, Forgiveness, and Sin

Last weekend we went on our first retreat to Selah Ranch.  It was a really good time.  We had sessions Friday evening, Saturday morning and evening, and Sonday morning but had all of Saturday afternoon and the evenings to do whatever we wanted.  Selah Ranch is a lovely place near Mt. Vernon, TX.  It has some open ranch land and a fair bit of wooded areas.  We go back in October and I’ll try to get some pictures then.  I forgot this time around.

Friday evening’s entertainment consisted of a “Miss Selah” contest.  Only we skipped everything but the speeches.  Each person had to speak for thirty (30) seconds on a random topic.  Simple enough, I’ll grant you.  But the catch was that everyone else in the room had a water bottle.  Any poor grammar, long pauses, “um,” “uh,” “like,” “you know,” or something similar meant you got sprayed.  My topic was Michael Jackson.  Unfortunately, I don’t know anything about him other than he is dead, was a singer, and was very, very weird.  I managed pretty well through that part of the speech.  Then I didn’t know what to say next and the squirting commenced.  I quickly changed topics to that of knowing what your speech is supposed to be about.  That lasted the final fifteen seconds or so.

We also played a version of the “fruit game” where instead of a fruit everyone had a sign or signal that they had to pass silently about the circle while the middle person tried to figure out who was trying to signal.  There were a few glitches when people lost track of who was signing or thought they’d been signaled when it was an accidental movement.  Highly amusing.

Saturday we went golf-carting.  A bit like four-wheeling in a golf cart.  That was a blast.  My cart went cross-country a lot because we were in the back and kept trying to catch up (they kindly waited for me to get my shoes on before they took off).  We hit some serious bumps and ended up dragging branches along underneath our cart even when we got back on the road.  Two other girls traded out driving while we were in the woods and then I drove on the clear ground.  We lost a rider while I was driving.  I was just chasing the other carts trying to catch up and then I heard someone behind me say “We lost Andrea.”  Seems that we had hit a large bump and she just flew off instead of trying to hold on.  So we backtracked and picked her up again before setting out on the mad chase.

On a more serious note, I really enjoyed listening to our speaker, Susan Banks.  She spent a lot of time discussing not only what living in faith, repentance, and forgiveness looks like, but also what it doesn’t look like.  It’s almost easier for me to identify what those should be like when I know what they aren’t.  And it’s definitely easier to see the areas in which I do not measure up to God’s standard.  Where I sin.  I’m still struggling with figuring out how I apply all of what she said though.  Now that I know what forgiveness is not, and what it is, how do I live it out?  That I do not yet know or understand.  It’s easy to sit and listen to someone talk about forgiveness.  It is hard to actually forgive.  I know I cannot do it of my own strength, but what does forgiving out of God’s strength look like?  How do I manage that?

Last Monday night when Tommy Nelson was talking about Genesis 4-5, I was struck by the fact that Enoch and Lamech lived at about the same time.  And Noah was only a few generations later.  I’ve known what the Bible says about the earth being sinful beyond compare at the time of Noah, but realizing that Lamech was around about that time lets me see a bit more of the defiance toward God that was happening then.  And it astounds me how different Cain’s line and Seth’s line were.  One believed God and the other, well, didn’t.

The biggest “Oh” moments though, came when we were going through Genesis 3 and listing all the things that were cursed because of Adam’s sin.  Some of them were obvious, like the ground and cattle.  Then we came to the “your seed” and “her seed.”  “Your seed” I’ve always just attributed to Satan.  But it’s not.  It’s us.  Prior to Christ, before salvation, we are called “children of wrath” (Eph 2:3) and sons of the devil (John 8:44).  Thus we, humanity, are Satan’s seed.  Not a pleasant thought.

The antidote to that, of course, is “her seed” which is Christ.  I knew that.  But it never registered that it was right then, at the fall, that Christ was cursed for us.  “Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, ‘Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree’)” (Gal 3:13).  But it began before that, back in Eden.  As Tommy Nelson put it, “Adam sinned and God hit Jesus.”

That phrase has been echoing through my mind since I heard it.  It makes sin so much more personal when put that way.  “Brittanie sinned and God hit Jesus.”  He didn’t hit me.  I cannot grasp the depth behind it.  “It was my sin that held Him there [to the cross]” runs one song we sang at the retreat.  I sinned and God released His wrath on Jesus instead of me.  It’s almost scary.  But I think it should be, in a way.  I need to be scared by the reality of the awfulness of my sin toward God.  We all do.

Heart Idols

Thursday last we spent some time discussing "heart idols."  That is, the root sin behind the visible sins.  The example of a visible sin used in the lesson was gossip.  Yes, it is wrong, but why are you gossiping in the first place?  What do you crave or hope to gain by gossiping instead of looking to God?  As an exercise, we were asked to determine common surface sins and try to identify the heart idol behind them.  But then, rather than dwelling on the sin, we were to turn and glorify God for His ability to satisfy whatever desire we may have.  The paragraphs below are my "Thought Journal" for the week reflecting my mind as I try to figure out exactly how to complete the assignment.


I don’t quite know what to call my “heart idol.” Safety and security perhaps? Yet it seems as though we are asked to determine in what we find those. I’m not certain. Perhaps in rhythm? In structure? Or is it a form of control idolism? I can’t quite figure it out. Maybe I should go with calling it the idol of familiarity. When I’m troubled, I retreat to the familiar—my family, my room, my books. It is in those that I find my comfort I think. Sometimes, I turn to the Bible for comfort and assurance, but most often, I think I shove off my unease and retreat to another world where my problems don’t exist instead of taking them to the Solver of Problems.

For that is what God is. I know it in my head, but how do I act on it? How do I abandon my defenses against the world and watch Him take them over? God is unchanging. He is the most familiar of all—and yet, I think I have grown so very familiar with His presence that I discount it altogether. I need to be aware of His steadfastness and unchanging nature but also to be in awe of it. I am a fickle, change-full creature. He is unswerving and permanent.

The Idol Factory article [by C. J. Mahaney] was intriguing and challenging. I am amazed at how much there is about heart idolatry in the Bible. I have often thought myself “safe” from that particular sin most of the time. Now I see it is not so. The summary of Martin Luther’s quote in Article Six of GCL is particularly pressing to me. “[. . .] every sin is in some way a breaking of the first commandment [. . .]” (p. 40). If I sin—correction, when I sin—it is because I put something else before God. Something I wanted more than Him. I don’t quite know how to think about that yet. I’ve never tried before.

I was told at the beginning that this class would make me more aware of my sin than I’ve ever been. It has. I was also told it would make me more aware of God’s glory. It has that as well.

"Marry a Zombie"

Tommy Nelson, pastor of Denton Bible came in and taught last Monday. It was really good stuff. Over the next few Monday nights he’s going to be teaching through the first eleven books of Genesis. I took six pages of notes on just the first two chapters—and filled in over half of my margins in my Bible.

The coolest thing he pointed out was all in the first sentence of the Bible. Genesis 1:1. A verse I memorized ages ago but never realized just how much that one sentence says. As a writer, I’m thoroughly impressed by how much is jammed in there. Allow me to demonstrate.

The Verse: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Simple, yes? But there is more than meets the eye.

In the beginning=Time
God=the preexistent, prime mover
Created=movement, something started (specifically, the Hebrew word “bara” indicates making something from nothing)
Heavens=space
Earth=matter

So that first sentence says that before there was time, there was a preexistent, prime mover (God) who began time and then proceeded to form space and matter from nothing. That sounds nice enough but when you list all the philosophies that one sentence debunks it is rather impressive.

Atheisim—there is no God
Agnosticism—no idea if there’s a god or not
Materialism—matter is eternal
Polytheism—many gods
Humanism—man is chief
Liberalism—God evolves according to the intelligence of the people
Dualism—two equal and opposite powers
Pantheism—everything is god
Naturalism—creation is divinity
Evolution—stuff came about over time
Henotheism—like the religions of Rome and Greece
Deism—a disconnected God

In one sentence! God lays the foundation for everything in that one first sentence. I’m still “geeking out” about that.

Oh, and the whole “Marry a zombie” thing? Tommy Nelson was talking about how we girls needed to marry a “nail pierced man,” that is, one who can say with confidence that they have been crucified with Christ and therefore no longer live (Gal 2:20). So marry the living dead. :-)

The Older Brother

The first time I heard someone say we needed to repent of our good deeds as well as our sin, I was highly skeptical. It is true, I thought, that before salvation we are told that all our righteousness is as filthy rags (Is 64:6). But Revelation tells us that in the end we are clothed in linen, clean and white which are the righteous acts of the saints (Rev 19:8). And really, it doesn’t make sense to be coming to God saying “I’m sorry God, I did something good today” when we are told that we are created for good works (Eph 2:10).

I think I was on the wrong track.

I was thinking of the righteous acts that we perform through the power of God. We definitely don’t need to repent of those. But we do need to repent of our self-righteousness. Big difference. Monday night we watched a video called “Prodigal God” that brought this home. (Note: Prodigal can also mean bountiful or lavish, not just wasteful)

In the parable of the Prodigal Son, we all know how the younger son was in the wrong. In asking for his share of the inheritance (1/3), he was saying he wished his father dead. He wanted his father’s stuff without the father, to use the words from the film. Shockingly, the father gives it to him, selling his land so the son can get what he wants. In the end, we know the younger son comes back and is welcomed by the father. Yay! But that isn’t really the end.

See, there’s another player in the story. The older son. He’s the good kid, the one who always did what the father told him to do. The one who now stands to inherit everything left to the father. We know he was being a bit of a snob when he refuses to go in to the party being thrown for the younger son. But his problems go deeper than that.

The simple fact that the older son stayed at home when the younger son took off showed in him the same attitude as the younger. He wanted the father’s stuff without the father. Apparently, part of the reason the oldest sons received double the inheritance of their younger siblings was to enable them to keep the family together. Therefore, the older should have gone after the younger endeavoring to bring him back at whatever cost. He didn’t. He just stayed at home and played the good child. Then when his brother shows up and dad throws a huge party, he pitches a fit at the money—his money, he thinks—being spent on this fool of a brother. He feels that he had earned the right because of his good deeds.

I’m the older brother. I’ve always been the good child, the one who doesn’t cause a stir, who does what she’s supposed to do. I haven’t been a sinner like them. And so, I often feel entitled to God’s mercy. Not that I’ve ever admitted it to myself before. But I think there is a root of pride that needs to be dug up.

And then there’s the other side to the story. On one hand there is the way in which we can identify with either the older or younger brother’s sin and see God as the father that goes out to both to bring them back in. On the other hand, there is a way in which we are all like the younger son who spurned the father in pursuit of his own pleasure. But where the so-called prodigal son’s older brother stayed at home, our Older Brother went out after us and paid the ultimate price—His life—to bring us back. That is love.


Another subject for the night was the interaction between the Law and the Cross. Essentially, it came down to how the Law drives us to despair in our own righteousness and to throw ourselves on Christ as our only hope. In turn, Christ’s abundant, steadfast love and unmitigated power inspires us to follow the Law out of love for Him and through His power.

A funny quote from the night came from our leader, Jean when mentioning how we often think we can't do what God wants us to do.  Roughly it was like this:

Me:  Please no, God!  It'll kill me to do that!
God:  How convenient.  You're supposed to die to yourself

There was more to ithe night's discussions but it was the older/younger brother dynamic that stuck with me after the night was over and so I give to you my thoughts on that aspect of the lessons.

First Retreat—What We Learned

The primary topic of the first retreat was the same as our theme for this year: the Cross. More specifically, we discussed how a growing awareness of God’s holiness and a growing awareness of our sinfulness result in a growing awareness of the greatness of the Cross. Also, we talked about two ways we shrink the Cross to our own size: Pretending and Performing.

The illustration taken from our study book “The Gospel-Centered Life” looks like this:

Makes sense, yes?

But we don’t live like that. We pretend to ourselves and to others that we are better than we are. We—I—don’t acknowledge the depth of my own sin. There is nothing good in me. Yet I pretend there is. I think that I’m pretty good. I’m not as bad as that guy over there at any rate. I’m clean and pure compared to him. (Sound like anyone you’ve read about? Check out Luke 18:9-14, the parable of the Pharisee and Tax Collector). Not that I’ve ever actually really formed those thoughts as it were, but my attitude has been one of superiority based on good deeds.

Which leads into performing. If I am good, if I do such and such, then God is obligated to do thus and so. He’ll look on me with favor. If I don’t do good, He’ll frown upon me. If I sin, I just need to try harder next time. As if I could attain to God’s holiness of my own.

So in reality, my life illustrated has looked more like the picture below (also from the book):

That needs to change. So will all of you please pray with me that I will stop pretending, and stop trying to perform to earn God’s favor and learn to see Him for Who He is and me for who I am? Thanks.


One of the biggest things that I took away from this weekend was the truth of the equation of the Cross. I’ve always known that Christ’s death took away my sin. And I’ve known that God gave me His righteousness. But I’ve never put the two together. Christ’s death did more than cancel out the debt I owed. It overflowed and filled my account with righteousness.

As an accountant, I immediately pictured a journal entry. Before this past weekend, I had thought of the entry looking like this:

The Cross       ------
My Sin                      ------

The entry balances and all is good. But that’s the wrong entry. There was another account involved: God’s righteousness. So the proper entry is:

The Cross                           --------
       My Sin                                       ------
       God’s Righteousness               ------

And I can never exhaust the greatness of His riches toward me.

The Cross paid for so much more than my sin. It wasn’t—isn’t—just enough to cover the sin. God doesn’t have to draw on a different account to fill me with His righteousness. Christ is enough.

And if I begin to live like that, how will I change?

How will you?

First Retreat—What We Did

This past weekend was the first retreat of The Program. It was in-town but the house we were at (mansion more like) was surrounded by trees so that you could only catch a glimpse of the nearest house. It almost felt like we were in another world.

The retreat began with supper at what is known as the Clifford House. It’s a red house, hence the name. Several girls who have gone through The Program before live there and provided us with a delicious meal. Afterward, we made our way back to Ann’s mansion where we had session one. Session one was followed by the first of the “Creative Introductions” and then we sat around and talked for a while filling in our “Rookie Books” (little booklets with names, addresses, phone numbers, e-mails, and blanks for everyone’s favorite things). Bedtime came around midnight.

Morning brought a delicious breakfast (homemade cinnamon rolls!), Session two and more intros. Lunch followed then Session three. We then proceeded on another treasure hunt across town which ended at The Hangar at DBC. Our final piece was buried in the sand volleyball court. We dug for about 15 minutes and couldn’t find it. Even the girl who buried it couldn’t figure out where it ended up. So we called it quits and sat in the shade eating popsicles while the girls who did The Program last year turned the hunt into a good illustration of how we need to dig and search to find the treasures of God’s Word.

We were all so wiped out from the heat that Jean declared a recess for the remainder of the afternoon. We chatted a little, finished filling in Rookie Books and a few stretched out on the floor to rest. I curled up on the couch and dozed for the forty-five minutes or so until supper.

Supper was at the Wilderness House—another house where previous program girls live that just happens to be on Wilderness Road—and then Session four was back at Ann’s. We finished up a bit after 9:00PM, helped clean up and everyone scattered to their respective homes.

So that is what we did during the weekend. What we learned/discussed will come later. Suffice it to say for now that it was good. Very good.

Creative Intro

Our first retreat for the women's program was this weekend  It was a good time of fellowship and learning (more on that later).  In between study sessions we did "creative intros."  Mine is below.  It was written at midnight so it's a bit rough.  The other girls did everything from slideshows, to quizzes, to making cake batter.

My name is Brittanie and Lassiter and Leigh
I’ve lived at home with my family

Five brothers have I, and I think you’ll agree
They’re a handsome lot for you to see

My family is dearest, most precious to me
I’ll fight for them ardently with all that I be

To friends I am faithful and loyal and true
But time it may take before I call you

It’s homeschooled I was for all of my life
Until, of course, I tried college life

Accountant I am and tennis coach too
And writer, and sister, and daughter—woohoo!

Of fictional people in literature
Sam Gamgee’s my favorite, of that you be sure

I can’t stand spiders, small or great
(My brothers are awesome at sealing their fates!)

I swim like a rock—straight down to the deep
I sleep like one too—won’t hear a peep

I love lasagna and pumpkin pie
And cake that is carrot and tea that is chai

I’ve danced and I’ve sung, though not very much
Enough to know how hard can be such

I’ve written a book for the teens and the tweens
‘Bout swords made of light and a king there unseen

I’m a little bit crazy, a little bit sane
I sometimes go by an Elvish name

And now at last I am come to the end
Of all the words I can think to pen

So thank you my ladies for hearing my rhyme
May God’s blessings follow throughout all of time

DBC WDTP—First Meeting

Tonight was the first night of the DBC Women’s Discipleship Training Program (hereafter referred to as “The Program”). I was a little nervous going into it but not much. I was actually more apprehensive about the drive to the house where we met than the evening itself!

We had received e-mails telling us to wear clothes we could get hot, dirty, and wet in and to bring a water bottle and wear good shoes. The reason for this was that we did a combination “Amazing Race” and scavenger hunt. It was fun.

My team called itself the “E” team. Why? Because all of our names ended in an “E” sound. Brittanie, Maggie, Abby, and Patty. Somehow we got called the Puerto Rico team by those running it off though. I think they thought Patty’s shirt said “Puerto Rico” on it. (It didn’t)

Task the first was a relay race. I carried an egg in a spoon in my mouth, Patty shot a basketball while singing “Jesus Loves Me,” Abby tossed two water balloons into the bucked that I held, and Maggie fished a piece of gum out of a plate of flour and blew a bubble with it. And the race was on.

I raced inside to grab my purse while the other three ran to my car. We piled in and took off. Turned the wrong direction, made a u-turn, and got back on track. Our clue told us to perform a “Noble Feat” at the Golden Triangle. Said feat was to make as many words out of “discipleship” as we could in five minutes while sitting at tables outside the Barnes and Noble at the mall. I think we came up with thirty.

Our next clue led us to the town square. We beat everyone there—despite being the last to show up at B&N. There we were given various handicaps and had to make it from one side of the town hall to the other. I was mute. Patty was blind. Maggie was blind and couldn’t use her arms. Abby was blind and couldn’t use her legs. I am very glad I was not in Abby’s position. As it was, Patty quickly grabbed the other two blind girls before they could wander off and I picked up Abby (Piggy back style) and we took off. It was hilarious. They were asking questions about where we were going, what were we doing, am I to heavy, what now, etc. and I couldn’t answer them because I was mute. We raced around the building got to the other cone—and no one was there. I left my poor, blind teammates for a moment and looked around to make sure there wasn’t another cone. They were thoroughly confused. Then I broke silence and told them what was up, just as one of the leaders raced around the corner. We had beaten them there. Ha.

Clue in hand, we ran back to the car and headed for our next destination. We also started looking at the list of “extra” things to do to earn points. At the park, we found five green objects (among which were a lei and spray bottle) and completed that task. While there, we did some of the extras. Patty spoke to a man in Spanish and he responded and she talked to his six-year-old and got his life story. Then we found some picnickers and sang to them.

Since that was our last destination and we had 45 minutes before we had to report back, we decided to do some more extras. Stopping at a pharmacy, we grabbed a half-gallon of milk and I started drinking (I had to drink a quart for the points). We headed for a Wal-Mart near the finish line, spotted some longhorns along the way and hopped out for a photo shoot. At Wal-Mart, we danced the congo down an aisle, Abby sang “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” to an older couple, Maggie jumped into a kiddie pool (no one said the pool had to have water in it), and Patty modeled a dress for a short photo shoot.

With 15 minutes to deadline, we headed back to the house. Somewhere along the line, Abby called my mom for an embarrassing story. At the house, we decided not to report in yet, found our list of extra things to do (we’d been working off a picture of the list) and did a few more. Abby, Maggie, and I did a cheerleader stunt while Patty took the picture. Then we all climbed a tree (no one said we had to be in the tree at the same time). And Abby managed to contact a friend and play a prank on her.  In addition, I had been careful the entire time to not go over the speed limit.

That, we decided, was enough and we trooped in to turn in our sheets. We showed off our pictures and laughed at others while the leaders calculated the totals. Turns out, one of the groups did a wheelbarrow with their blind and lame member while the other team had someone crawl with them on their back. It’s no wonder we were faster since we all were walking.
And the drumroll came….Team Puerto Rico was victorious! By a fair margin it sounded like. Our prizes were water bottles. Nice ones too.
After declaring the victors, we all lined up for ice cream and peach cobbler. Good stuff that. Then we just hung around and chatted. A fair number of the girls had brothers or brothers-in-law that did Tommy Nelson’s Young Guns and heard about The Program through them. It was kinda neat.
Tomorrow night is our “Creative Introductions” and the beginning of an in-town weekend retreat. It should be fun. I really liked the girls I met tonight and look forward to getting to know all of them better. I think it is going to be a great nine months. Difficult, perhaps, but good and well worth the time.
Until later!